#Bartholomew jimmy

[cryingpariah]

Monty yawning and rubbing his sunglasses-obscured eyes as he goes down the stairs to the living room in the morning only for it to dawn on him that something is very, very wrong. And he doesn't even need his scanners to determine what it is.

The Christmas tree

Is

GONE.

They've been robbed! And not just their family either, nobody in town has their tree up! Monty even saw some of them in the trash! How could somebody throw out a Christmas tree like some sort of dead plant???

He asks the other Seraphim and their trees are all gone too. Apparently Christmas trees aren't an all-year thing. Which makes Monty remember that his parents said something last night about taking the tree down but he was too distracted by Sora Warrior of the Sea to really process what they were saying. And really why would you plant a tree in your house if you weren't going to commit to it for the long haul.

Gabe and Gryphon were the only ones whose tree was still standing. Or at least it was until they accidentally set the whole thing on fire with their back flames while running around the main tent that morning (the ornaments were fine, Mihawk chopped all the branches containing them and caught them before they hit the ground bc of course he did, it's Mihawk).

I can just hear the wails of confusion. What do you mean the Christmas trees are only for Christmas?? Why wouldn’t you want something so beautiful and bright in your house all the time?! What happened to proper home decor?? Having your own personal style?? Does Feng Shui mean nothing to you people?!?!

All the Seraphims get explanations but only Jimmy really seems to accept it! Bonney? Not so much. Monty is marching around the house demanding the reinstatement of the tree! Thea is fully going on strike and is taking Hestia and all her pretty gems with her! Ashken is hard at working trying to make his own Christmas tree out of just about anything Perona hasn’t taken out of reach! And Jinta!….he actually just misses the shining and sparkly lights. Nemo was pretty torn up about the whole thing which Crocodile quickly notice and snuck him off some ornaments which has worked pretty well so far.

The tree at Karai Bari stands as their last bastion of holiday hope, Gabe and Gryphon are gonna protect at all costs! They consider the tree their treasure and no pirate worth his salt, sugar or any spice would let someone take their treasure! They constantly circle the tree, pout-glaring at any and all suspicious activity until that little accident occurs. They’re very distressed about it and tearfully wonder if Santa is gonna hate them for hurting the tree but Mihawk quickly reassures them that they’re children. Their job is to make messes and mischief wherever they roam and Old Saint Nick of all people would understand that.

They cheer up after that and head off to go clean off, leaving Mihawk with the sudden realization that with the holiday season now truly over and done with, the boys will quickly be consumed by how dull January can be.

“Oh dear…”

[mjrtaurus]

Okay but Ryu and Jimmy becoming just as close friends as Dragon and Kuma are were. And they have sort of similar insecurities.

Ryu hates his Devil Fruit because he believes it invalidates his attempts to be a good person. Jimmy tries as hard as he can to live up to Kuma's saintly ways, but he's a bit of a people pleaser. Scratch that, he's a massive people pleaser to the point where he'll keep his own feelings bottled up if it means he won't be seen as the bad guy. Jimmy is a genuinely kind boy, but doesn't want to show any negativity out of fear it will insult Kuma's memory.

And on top of that, Jimmy carries a lot of anger in him about the injustices Kuma, his sister, and even he himself have gone through. His father's memories are filled with love, but that's not the only thing Jimmy takes away from them. The monsters who took his grandparents, Ginny, most of Bonney's childhood are still out there and Jimmy hates them. Some nights he dreams of unleashing an Ursa Shock on the Red Line to destroy that revolting cesspool of excess and everyone in it, regardless of who gets caught in the crossfire. And then he feels sick that such intrusive thoughts filled his head.

What would Bonney think? What would Dragon and Iva think? What would his father think?

They'll never find out if Jimmy has anything to say about it. But Ryu will always offer a listening ear.

Ryu and Jimmy being Dragon and Kuma 2.0 is the cutest thing ever, just gonna put that out there first.

Ryu gets it more than anyone Jimmy has ever met. Dragon will too, once he can buck up the courage to talk to him about it.

Ryu tells Jimmy about all the times he’s just wanted to make all the people who hurt him go away forever, and he hates how ugly that anger makes him feel. It isn’t right to be this angry… but it isn’t right for people to do what they’ve done to him and Jimmy and so many, many others.

Rights and wrongs aren’t as easy as they were programmed to believe. It’s so much more complicated than that, and it’s frustrating.

A few decades ago, Dragon and Kuma were having such conversations as they sailed with their ragtag band. Dragon knew he couldn’t stand with the marines anymore, but the crisis of morality that he experienced after he left was… troubling. Many who hear the name Monkey D. think of intensity, but few had ever seen it manifest in Dragon until he went rogue. He’d been terrifying.

He didn’t want to be terrifying.

If anything, Ryu and Jimmy having these conversations now sets themselves up for a longer and closer friendship than what Dragon and Kuma were able to have.

Dragon hopes that if he should ever see Kuma- the real Kuma- again, he can show him these two little angels.

[greenarrowschili]

who was gonna tell me jimmys full name is james bartholomew olsen😭

[axelwolf8109]

I loved him so much. Happy heavenly birthday. Rest easy Rev

[finnbin]

i am ur biggest fan never stop i love you

More infinite drawingssss :D

Plus some NPC’s cause yes

(Don’t mind my DnD character in the corner-)

[yakumtsaki]

Spice and Cyan are the last cousin-fuckers left standing and are proving impossible to break up. I'm inclined to blame the fact Sugar and June also had the hots for each other and passed these destructive genes on to these losers but whatever it is they're just annoyingly into each other.

Now I'm not gonna lie, I did almost waver cause I was like 'man you know what they're second cousins so at the end of the day truly who cares, maybe I should just let them stay together and create one Union super-bebe'.. and then I see this:

In case you can't tell from this amazing screenshot they have ONE BOLT. ONE. ALL THIS DRAMA OVER ONE BOLT ARE YOU KIDDING ME

-What is drama compared to someone you almost desire? -Oh baby, the mediocrity of my passion for you is too much to bear!

-This lukewarm hot tub water is the perfect metaphor for our love.. -Exactly, it's the water of the womb and we all know that's where that sole bolt is even coming from!

UGH. Also man the difference between your noses is UNREAL, now I'm more worried about that if you procreate than the incest.

-Hahahaha, as expected I'm the only one of this trash family that's in a non-disgusting relationship!

Felina no offense but you could afford to add some drama cause you've become boring af.

-People are sick of all this perverted nonsense! They want someone dignified and happily monogamous!

Ya idk sis, I mean look at Barth dislocating his entire spine as we speak:

-I SENSE BETRAYAL AGAIN. WHO DARES CHEAT ON ME NOW

-JIMMY, BACK IN THE ARMS OF MY COUSIN THAT I RIGHTFULLY STOLE YOU FROM. AND TO THINK I WAS GONNA MARRY YOU WHEN I WON THE HEIRSHIP

-You were??

-OF COURSE NOT

Bro I can't, the entire house hates Barth other than Meadow and her billion nice points and Spice who is his childhood bestie. Note that he and Sunset have that goddamn amour fou and are independently becoming un-enemies, which I'm NOT GONNA LET HAPPEN.

-Ok Barth, let's get drunk and make some reckless and sexy decisions!

SUNSET GODDAMMIT IT

-Why do you keep cockblocking us? You know our kids would be hot!

I DONT CARE

-Ya right! Don't act like you haven't thought about it!

IM NOT LISTENING TO THIS

-You know we would produce a hot, psycho turbo-Union! A little Jojo or Jojette, untainted by non-Union DNA, one freakshow to rule them all!! Look into your heart, you know it to be true!!!

ENOUGH, STOP TRYING TO SEDUCE ME WITH THE PROMISE OF COMICALLY INSANE OFFSPRING, SUNSET. EVERYONE FUCK OFF TO BED RIGHT NOW, GOODNIGHT

-AND GOOD MORNING, LOSERS

WTF. Why are you here we've paid our bills!

-BUT YOU HAVEN'T PAID THE INCEST TAX

-OMG THERE'S A FIRE🌞

-OMG THE REPOMAN IS HERE TO TAKE OUR SHIT

-OMG THE STREAKER KILLED OUR FISH

What??

-I JUST DON'T WANNA ADMIT IM STILL CRYING OVER BARTHOLOMEW

NOOOO NOT OUR BEAR STATUE WE'VE HAD IT SINCE GENERATION 1! PLEASE JUST TAKE ONE OF THE KIDS INSTEAD

-YOU SHOULD HAVE PAID YOUR BILLS

WE FUCKING DID

-PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU FLOPS

FUCK YOU, REPOMAN, WE'RE NOT FLOPS

-WAAAAAAAAH I CAN'T BELIEVE HE TOOK OUR BEAR

Oh great, now half these flops are in aspiration failure, that's just what the doctor ordered.

-OMG AND NOW THE OTHER PLANT IS ON FIRE

BRO WTF IS HAPPENING WE'RE CURSED

-WE ARE AND WE ALL KNOW WHO'S TO BLAME

-HE'S BEEN BAD LUCK SINCE HE WAS BORN

-Can you harpies take this somewhere else, I'm trying to get high here!

-KILL HIM

OK NO. No one's killing anyone, we're NOT cursed, ok?

-We're broke, afflicted with a bills glitch, fires keep starting and half the house is in aspiration failure!

Well let's be real, the broke part is on you.

-US??

You idiots are averaging a D each semester because you're too busy fucking each other, beating each other up or both..

..I mean freaking Jimmy is on academic probation, I have never gotten this before in all the years I've played this game, this is the worst college run of all time.

-WHAT IS YOUR POINT

My point is the bar is in hell so let's just get out of this run alive, ok? Now you kids make nice!

-Well, Failina, now that I'm looking at you up close I guess putting lipstick on a pig does work sometimes.

-For my next move, I'll shove my queen in your other eyehole.

See, now isn't this nice? And I think I figured out what caused the bills thing so everything should be fine now..

-THINK AGAIN BITCH

OH FFS

-I'M HERE TO FREE THIS NEIGHBORHOOD FROM YOUR TERRIBLE SPOKEN WORD POETRY

Ok you know what I'm actually fine with that one, take it- Um do I hear hearts??

UH WHAT????

-THAT'S RIGHT IM IN LOVE WITH KEA FOR NO CLEAR REASON

WTF

-We've been friends for a long time-

You have?? Man I really need to pay more attention around here.

-Yes well you can't help being useless!

Very true! Well please, continue, let me just call someone over-

-YOU LEFT THE HOT TUB OF LUKEWARM LOVE TO CHEAT ON ME???

Man I know, it's so terrible! Anyway-

-HOW DARE YOU BE UPSET WITH ME FOR CHEATING ON YOU

CYAN WTF LOL

-YASSSS BEAT HIS ASS UP BABE HE DESERVES IT

DOES HE?? Cyan you are one crazy bitch, I love it.

-I take after my mom! :D

Which one, they're both insane! :D

-What's it take to get your number? What's it take to bring you home? Hurry up, it's time for supper, order up, I'm hot to go🎵

Alright well Chapell karaoke seals it, Kea, welcome to the family!

-You mean it this time right, you won't fuck me over again like when I was engaged to Sophito?

LOL I forgot about that but no I'm certain this one is gonna work out, unless crazy ass Cyan goes back to one of her cousins

-What?

I said start planning the wedding!

[suzukiblu]

weird kryptonian bonding rituals for wip wednesday!

“Alright!” Lois says, then tosses her sandwich into her lunchbox with a determined expression. “It’s not gonna be ‘Sam’ or any variant thereof, for the record! Or Louis, either!” 

“Why not?” Superboy asks. 

“Because your granddad sucks and I’m not egomaniac enough to name you after me,” Lois says, gesturing furiously with both hands. She looks a little manic, maybe? Like just a little, Clark thinks. “Maybe Jonathan! What are your dad’s feelings on being a namesake, Superman?” 

“That seems like the kind of thing you do with dead relatives, not living ones,” Clark says, wincing a little at the thought. “And I really don’t want to jinx it.” 

“Fair enough,” Lois says, then starts pacing. “Lucius? No, that’s incredibly pretentious. Luce? What am I saying, my sister would be unbearable if we named you after her. Why am I even trying to name you after other people anyway, you’re a clone, that is a terrible idea! Jimmy! What’s your middle name?”

“Bartholomew,” Jimmy replies dryly, absolutely deadpan. 

“. . . we’re definitely not naming him after anybody,” Lois mutters, then whips out her phone and types “baby names” into the search bar, immediately scanning the site results that pop up. 

“Do you have a name . . . um, Pa?” Superboy asks, peering over at Clark questioningly. “Dad called you one earlier, right?” 

“Oh–yeah,” Clark says, immediately embarrassed. “It’s Clark. Clark Kent. My name, I mean. That is! Clark Joseph Kent, specifically. So, um, Kent would be your name too, I guess? Unless you want Lois’s last name, that’s your decision, obviously! It’s a nice last name, I like it. Well, I wouldn’t take it but that’s because I really feel I owe my parents for–never mind, just, you can have whichever last name you want! You can even have your Uncle Jimmy’s if you want, it’s fine, we won’t mind!” 

“We won’t?” Jimmy asks, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“Um,” Clark says, trying not to wince. “I think we won’t?”

[chernobog13]

SUPERMAN'S PAL JIMMY OLSEN #122 (September, 1969). Cover by Curt Swan and Neal Adams (I don't think that's correct, but that's what the Grand Comics Database says).

The wacky love life of James Bartholomew Olsen

[cannondisabledcharacters]

Accepted Characters 6/18/2024

Jonesy Garcia from 6teen

Remember Dippy (Mem) from Remember Dippy

Dr. James Palmer (Jimmy) from NCIS

Tino Tonitini from The Weekenders

Marvin from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

TBH creature (Yippee) by @princestarangel

Bartholomew "Bart" Fatima from the Xenosaga series

Flick from PB and J Otter

Seong-un Ma from I Was the Final Boss

Donatello from Rise of the TMNT

Kai from Elebits

unnamed pit bull from Kitbull

Lily Longleat from Law & Order SVU

Stark from Frieren

Haru from My Roommate is a Cat

Spencer from House

Rixis from Monster Pulse

Sophie from Monster Pulse

Squirrelly Nut from The Nut Family

Roger Maugras Sr. from Monster Pulse

2023 requests remain

[ifelllikeastar]

Boogie Bill Webb was born in Jackson, Mississippi. His got his first guitar at the age of eight, made from a cigar box and strung with screen wire. His greatest influence was Tommy Johnson. With a real guitar obtained when he was a teenager, he won a talent show in 1947. He moved to New Orleans in 1952.

In New Orleans he became friends with Fats Domino and was introduced to Dave Bartholomew and obtained a recording contract with Imperial Records. In 1953 Webb released his debut single, "Bad Dog," a noncommercial slice of country boogie-woogie. Frustrated by lack of recognition, Webb relocated to Chicago, where he worked in factories. There he met and played with Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, Jimmy Reed, and Chuck Berry. In 1989, with financial assistance from the Louisiana Endowment for the Humanities, he released the album Drinkin' and Stinkin'. An encounter with three women who had been out drinking for three days without bathing inspired the lyrics of the title track.

Boogie Bill Webb died August 22, 1990 in New Orleans, Louisiana at the age of 66.

[hoperays-song]

More Random Canon Sing Things I Noticed PT.3?

Johnny had his hair dyed teal for his Sing 2 performance.

Marcus is an extremely punctual person as shown in the storyboard.

Gunter doesn’t actually cause problems for himself, which judging by these movies track records, is impressive.

Both Johnny and Meena seem to be wearing Converse in both movies.

Mike claims to have gone to the Lincoln School of Music, which I’m not sure I believe but ok.

Gunter refers to himself as Uncle Gunter when talking to Rosita’s kids.

Clay winks a fair bit when he is talking with the troupe.

There are apparently awards in the entertainment industry called The Golden Piccolo and The Archer Newman Award. 

Jimmy’s bodyguards are apparently around the clock? Whatever they were being paid was definitely not enough, I can promise you that.

Both the Q-Teez and Mizuki are big fans of Ash’s.

The dancers wear a unisex practice uniform of tights and a leotard.

Marcus is the only one of the gang who’s name isn’t clearly a possible nickname. Stan could be Stanley/Stanford, Barry could be Bartholomew, and Johnny could be short for like 10 different names.

[gay-homophobic-lawyer-show]

1- When did you start shipping mcwoo (like what episode)

2- please tell me your weirdest headcannons, like, the ones that don't matter to the story and have little evidence, you just believe them because

🎀

AN ASK?!?! <- insane person

1 - Buried Pleasures 03x02, but that’s kind of the obvious answer lol. When I actually first saw a screenshot of them kissing I thought it was Photoshopped, but then I watched and was like “ok wow they did have sapphic kiss realness”. After thinking about it for a bit and watching their season 2/3/4 interactions I kind of had a Jimmy Neutron brain blast moment where I realized how interesting their dynamic is and ALSO!!! Lucy Liu and Calista Flockhart are just both really gorgeous and I’m very very gay.

I could talk about them for hours honestly and essentially the crux of McWoo for me is how they’re more similar to each other than they realize (and sometimes than the writers realize too).

2 - Ooh this one is interesting okay well a LOT of my head canons have to do with the story, sorry if the ones that follow aren't as exciting! But uhhh off the top of my head:

Georgia doesn't eat Chinese food except when she's with Ally and Renee, she just doesn't think to order it by herself

Nelle had INCREDIBLY long hair as a child. Like ridiculously long hair to the point where not getting it cut would raise eyebrows toward her parents style of parenting

Renee watches Saturday morning cartoons because she likes to laugh at the cartoon characters' pain

Ling is very distant from her dad. Idk

Georgia and John like collecting things. Like I can see them both collecting Calico Critters for some reason but setting them up in different ways. Georgia likes to make home/family scenes out of them because it brings her comfort, and John is just like "this is Bartholomew, he is a tiny felt cat that has brought me many a comfort throughout these years. In a prior life, I may have been a Calico Critter."

I feel like Elaine would host dinner parties for the firm at her house maybe

[elxgantcaptain]

FULL NAME. Captain James Bartholomew Hook NICKNAME. James, Captain, Hook, Jim ALIASES.  Captain Hook, Captain, Cap'n, Hook, Mutiny Red, Scarlet Jim, Codfish, old man, Ol' Feather Hat, worlds most famous crook, Captain Crook, Captain Codfish, Jim, Jimmy PRONOUNS. he / him / his SIZE. 6,7 feet AGE. 49 ZODIAC. virgo SPOKEN LANGUAGES. English, Latin, Spanish, Arabic, Fairy (not spoken but understands), French, Hindi

𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ―

HAIR. black, curly/wavy FACIAL HAIR. Moustache, sometimes stubble SKIN TONE. Olive, sometimes darker/tanned BODY TYPE. Muscular (or dad bod? xD) BOOTY TYPE: Flat? Round? xD idk man VOICE. 'Proper' and well spoken, though susceptible to the pirate slang and dialect. Sing song sort of voice. DOMINANT HAND. right hand, though also left when he had a hand. Though he can still use it well with prosthetics. POSTURE. Straight, though he can appear smaller by haunching over. BIRTHMARKS. On his left ankle he has a birth mark shaped like a rapier sword MOST NOTABLE FEATURES. Pointy moustache, olive green eyes, long black curly hair, scars across his body and missing hand

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 ― PLACE OF BIRTH. England, London, most likely in an ally, brothel or shack HOMETOWN. London, around Mayfair SIBLINGS. NONE (that we know of) PARENTS. Father - James Thomas Benedictus Jackson. Mother - Sophronia

𝐀𝐃𝐔𝐋𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 ―

OCCUPATION. Captain and pirate CURRENT RESIDENCE. Jolly Roger/Neverland OR Agrabah (verse dependant) CLOSE FRIENDS. Smee? FINANCIAL STATUS. Rich but hordes treasures DRIVER’S LICENSE. No, man can't even ride a horse without falling off. CRIMINAL RECORD. Yes. He's been wanted, searched for, tried and freed many times VICES. Finding contractual loopholes, or creating them. He gets rather dastardly and unhonorable when he's desperate in a battle. He can be whiny and clingy and has a short temper amongst other things.  

𝐒𝐄𝐗 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 ―

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Bisexual, leans stronger towards men PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. Wifey PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. Bottom. Major bottom. But he can be quite the strong dom when he wants to be. TURN OFFS. Whips, piss, puke and poop :), calling him 'daddy' or codfish. TURN ONS. Power, dirty talk, dominance, commands/orders LOVE LANGUAGE. Quality time, hand holding, snuggles, gift giving, surprise sex. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. He can be very clingy and needy, he CAN do one night stands but not without wanting to cuddle and stay the night first. He craves love and being wanted in such a relationship. When someone wants him back, he attempts to do everything they want in order to keep them there.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒 ―

CHARACTER’S THEME TUNE. Captain hook's theme / The Elegant Captain Hook / I'll give you one Guess HOBBIES TO PASS THE TIME. Writing and sketching in his journals, reading (mostly romance novels and poetry), fishing, free diving, playing his piano. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. Right brained SELF-CONFIDENCE LEVEL. 9/10, only cause he can sometimes be self conscious about his scars and stump

tagging: @veldinstar / @shiningsilverarmor and anyone else

[bjfinn]

POPCHAT

"Foul Play"/"Deadbeat" crossover

"I'm sorry, Jimmy," Herb Weinberg said. "After the ... incident with Alex, you're just not marketable. Nobody wants to take a chance on you -- they're worried about a repeat performance."

"Of course," Jimmy said. "I understand. But I was in Bellevue for several months, and I'm doing much better -- Dr Bartholomew says that I'm well on the road to recovery, and part of that recovery will be getting back to work."

Weinberg sighed. "I know," he said.

"During my ... stay at the hospital, I lost my apartment -- I've had to find another. It wasn't easy, but I managed to get one much cheaper. In Flatbush."

"Flatbush? That's quite a comedown from the Upper East Side."

Jimmy nodded. "It is -- but it's a nice neighbourhood. The people are friendly -- I ... I think living there will be good for me. That said, I need to be able to pay my rent. Isn't there anything for me? Anything at all -- I'll take it, whatever it is. I'm ... I'm desperate -- I need to find something." He paused, looking his agent in the eye for the first time. "Please."

"Well, there's a new community station starting up -- it's in Brooklyn. And they are looking for talent. But they can't pay much."

"I'll take it."

Weinberg furrowed his brows. "Don't you want to at least think about it first?"

"I don't have the time," Jimmy replied, shaking his head.

*****

"Jimmy! May I call you Jimmy? Have a seat, please!"

Jimmy smiled and nodded, and sat down in the armchair opposite Mr Feinstein's desk. He crossed his legs with feigned casualness, his hands interlaced at his belt.

"I understand that you're looking for a talk-show host?" he asked.

Arnold Feinstein nodded. "We need someone for a daytime talk show."

"Daytime?" Jimmy said. "I --"

"I know it's a comedown from late night, but it'd be great to have someone with your experience in the driver's seat -- and we don't have the budget yet for a late night show." He looked at Jimmy intently. "Are you interested?"

Jimmy looked down and picked an imaginary piece of lint from his tie. "You know that I was recently ... released from Bellevue," he said. "I had a ... psychotic break on-set. On camera."

"Water under the bridge, Jimmy!" Feinstein told him. "You're still going to therapy, right? And you're on medication?"

Jimmy nodded.

"That's all I need to know." He leaned back in his chair and looked at Jimmy over his glasses. "You have the experience, Jimmy boy -- you know how to conduct an interview that'll engage the viewers. You were kind of a big deal before your, uh ... well, you know. And you can help put this station on the map." He took a pen from his shirt pocket and held it out to Jimmy. "What do you say? Do we have a deal?"

*****

Jimmy Pop sat on his bed and carefully untied the laces of his shoes. He removed them and set them down on the floor, and then he sat there for a moment, a slight smile on his face.

He had a job again -- one in front of the camera, where he belonged. True, it was only a daytime talk show at a small station, but it was something.

It felt strange, though -- he'd been in Bellevue for nine months. Almost a year since he'd been on the outside. Almost a year since he'd had to take care of himself. He wondered if this was how prisoners felt after being released -- this strange mix of anticipation and trepidation.

Of course, he wasn't entirely on his own -- he still had to return three times a week for therapy. He was looking forward to seeing Dr Bartholomew again -- she'd be pleased that he'd managed to secure employment so quickly.

He got to his feet and headed into the bathroom. He regarded his reflection in the mirror appraisingly. As a TV personality, he'd always taken pride in his appearance, and one of the first things he'd done when he left Bellevue had been to visit his barber. He'd gotten the full treatment -- hair cut, beard trimmed, manicure. "Nice to see you again, Jimmy," he said softly. "It's been a long time.

"It has been a long time, hasn't it?" he replied to himself. "How have you been?

"I've had some ... difficulties, but things are getting better, thanks.

"I hear you have a new job.

"Yes, at a local station -- I'll be hosting their daytime talk show, "PopChat". Tomorrow I'll be meeting with the production team to discuss everyone's ideas."

"That's wonderful news, Jimmy -- it'll be great to see you back on television.

"I'm really looking forward to it -- I think the show will do very well in the ratings.

"Well, we're all pulling for you, Jimmy.

"Thank you, Jimmy."

He smiled wistfully at his reflection, chuckling softly. He was fully aware that he was alone -- that wasn't one of his problems. But he'd never really had any actual friends, so as a child he'd developed the habit of talking to himself.

The smile faded, and he padded out of the bathroom. Sitting on the bed again, he let out a quiet sigh. It would be nice to have a friend, he thought. I wonder what it's like?

He didn't notice the single tear that trickled down his cheek.

*****

The next few days were a whirlwind of meetings as the details for "PopChat" were worked out. It was to be a live, half-hour daily talk show, and Jimmy would be interviewing a local Brooklynite of note, the tone light-hearted and casual. The set design was minimal, just a desk and an armchair with a small stage for performances -- the station didn't have the budget for anything more elaborate.

On Sundays, Jimmy would be sent the guest list for the coming week, along with research notes and any video footage of performances, so that he could prepare for the interviews -- it wasn't likely that he'd be familiar with every guest, after all.

It would be good to be back in front of the camera again. It would be good to be again.

*****

"And now I'd like to introduce my very first guest," Jimmy said. "He's a medium who's made quite a name for himself in the past few years ... Kevin Pacalioglu!"

Pac walked on stage and shook hands with Jimmy, and then he sat in the armchair as Jimmy returned to his seat behind the desk.

"So, Kevin --"

"Call me Pac," Kevin said. "And good job with my last name -- most people butcher it."

Jimmy smiled warmly. "Very well -- Pac. You're a medium? That means that you can talk to ghosts? How long have you been able to do that?"

"Ever since I can remember," came the reply. "My parents died when I was very young, and I think that's when it began."

"I'm very sorry to hear about your parents -- it couldn't have been easy."

"It wasn't," Pac agreed. "I was placed in an orphanage, but I was never adopted. Because of my ... gift, I was a 'weird kid', and people want normal children."

"Of course -- I think we can all sympathise," Jimmy nodded. "And this gift of yours -- how does it work?"

"Well, it just happens," Pac explained. "If there's a ghost around, I can see them the same as I can see you. I can tell the difference, though -- ghosts are transparent. And I try to help them move on.

"Ghosts have unfinished business -- that's why they're stuck. I help them with their unfinished business so that they can continue their journey."

"To Heaven," Jimmy said.

"Heaven, Hell, their next life ... I don't know," Pac replied. "I don't have any answers about what happens next."

"I suppose it will always be the biggest mystery," Jimmy said, smiling.

"Do you see any other kinds of spirits? Angels, perhaps? Or demons?"

"I haven't seen any angels, but ... I did encounter a demon once."

"Really? That must have been quite frightening."

Pac shook his head, chuckling. "You'd think so, but it wasn't. He was squatting in the old Gardner Hotel -- the new owner had been renovating, and there'd been several unexplainable, uh ... incidents, so he called me to investigate.

"When I got there, I saw someone who I thought was a homeless guy. He said he was a demon, and at first I thought he was just cr-- delusional, but then he made his hair catch fire -- that's when I realised that he was telling me the truth."

"What happened?"

"I tried to get him to leave, but he refused. So ... we fought."

"You fought a demon?"

"Yeah -- it was wild. He agreed to fight like a human, so we had a fistfight. He knocked me out -- sucker-punched me -- and when I came to, he was gone. I guess he realised that he wasn't safe there any more."

"That's amazing!" Jimmy exclaimed with genuine astonishment. "Have you had any other encounters with him since then?"

Kevin nodded. "A teenage girl came asking for my help a while back -- she came all the way from Connecticut hoping I'd be able to help her see her deceased mother. As it turns out, she's friends with this demon. And he's also friends with a buddy of mine." He chuckled. "Turns out Beej -- that's the demon's name -- isn't really such a bad guy after all, just a huge pain in the ass."

*****

"Hey, man, thanks for having me on," Pac said after the show. "It was fun. And it's great to see that you're doing good -- I really enjoyed "Pop Goes the Night" before ..."

"Before I had my psychotic break," Jimmy finished. "It's all right -- you can say it."

"So ... what happened, dude? Why did you attack Alex Brightman like that?"

"I ... I was delusional," Jimmy told him. "I wanted to ... to kiss him. And I thought I was him. It's ... complicated. But I'm getting better, thanks to Dr Bartholomew and the team at Bellevue. I know I have a long road ahead, and a lot of work to do, but ... I'm getting there."

"Well, that's great to hear," Pac said, grinning. He shook Jimmy's hand, placing his left hand on the other man's shoulder. "All the best. It was great meeting you."

"It was great meeting you, too, Pac," Jimmy replied. As Kevin turned to leave, Jimmy called his name.

Kevin turned back to him, and Jimmy felt a momentary panic at the thought of what he was about to ask, but the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself. "Would ... would you like to ... perhaps ... go for a beer sometime? With me?"

Pac grinned broadly. "Yeah, man -- that'd be cool! Lemme give you my number -- call me anytime."

He scribbled his phone number on the back of an old receipt he'd pulled from his wallet, and handed it to Jimmy. "I mean it, man -- call me anytime!"

Jimmy looked at the piece of paper and smiled. Maybe he'd finally found a friend.

[yakumtsaki]

-Oh Sunset, I'm so lucky to be in a loving relationship with such a kind, loyal and non-criminally insane person such as yourself!

You're so on the money, buddy, the only thing you missed was 'sexually repelled by cousins'.

-I CAN'T DO THIS, TYLER, YOU'RE SUFFOCATING ME -I'm sorry! Also my name is Ty! -I KNOW BUT IT'S A STUPID NAME AND I'M NOT CALLING YOU THAT

She's right, Ty, and to top it off your last name isn't Union, it's like you're not even trying!

Bruh.. This chain of interactions from the hugging to the insulting to the making out took place in about 1 minute, I can't believe Stacy and Julian of all couples produced Sunset. Why can't you be more like your parents?? They were my cutest, healthiest couple ever!!

-They only thing they cared about having sex 50 a times a day! Aunt June basically raised me!!

Omg I'm looking at the pics of the spare updates I never posted because I suck and YA SHE DID, that explains so much, June is truly the platonic ideal of the hot-batshit combo.

Speaking of batshit-

-And hot!

If you say so, Barth is putting the moves on Marla Biggs, whomst we last saw when June (there she is again) used her to dump Erik-

-Yes, and that one wolf whistle from June turned me gay for all eternity, so don't even bother!

-UGH. So I guess I have no choice..

-..but to sleep with another one of my second cousins! -Oh Barth, I can't believe this is finally happening!!! -I know, Cyan, it took way too long!

We've been here for a week.

-Don't worry, nothing will interrupt this magical moment-WHAT THE FUCK I'M BEING CHEATED ON GOTTA RUN SORRY CYAN CATCH YOU LATER

Ok apparently I was laughing too hard to take a decent pic, but yes, BARTHOLOMEW CAUGHT HIS COUSIN 'CHEATING' ON HIM AS HE WAS HOOKING UP WITH HIS OTHER COUSIN. I HATE MY GAME.

-AND I HATE YOU, SUNSET. YOU BROKE MY HEART -FUCK YOU, BARTHOLOMEW, I'M NOT GONNA BE PART OF YOUR SECOND COUSIN HAREM -I HOPE YOU DROWN IN THE POOL -This was so beautiful, Sunset, I think I'm falling in love with you💙 -GET OUT OF HERE, TYLER -It's Ty! -NO ONE CARES, ASSHOLE -DON'T TALK TO TYLER LIKE THAT -That's not my name! -IT IS NOW, SHUT UP

I gotta hand it to Ty, he's in it to win it, whatever it is one could possibly 'win' when it comes to Sunset.

-Oh Sunset, you're the queen of my heart! -Gross!🥰

-Aw baby, I love spending all our awake time woohooing and doing nothing interesting, huhu!🌞 -It really is the best, thanks to your horrific LTW we don't even have to try! It's so awful people are bound to vote for us just to watch the trainwreck!

Ya I wish I had a counter-argument but you two really have this thing figured out, even I wanna watch me have a mental breakdown trying to raise your 6 asshole kids.

-Our kids are not gonna be assholes!🌞

LOL YA OK MEADOW, whatever helps you sleep at night.

-Meadow and Felina are not the only ones with a perfect relationship! Britannicus and I are also deeply in love!! I'm writing a novel about it as we speak!!!

Jimmy no offense but I literally forgot you live here and I can barely remember who Britannicus is half the time.

-THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED

Oh Britannicus here you are, thank God, you're so indispensable to this legacy!

-All you main-houser bitches look down on me but I have a lot to offer!! I'm grandpa Gunther's heir!!!

Of course you are, now give us the pizza so the people who matter don't die.

-I'll show you! I'll show you all!! >:(

Yes yes, it's been lovely catching up-

-and now it's time to get serious and break Cyan and Barth up! Hit us with your best shot, Marg, we've been on a winning streak lately with those matches, please don't go back to Cyn's leftovers.

-Got you, say no more..

-Here's Kennedy Cox!

MARGARET

-Well it's very hard to find someone Cyneswith hasn't banged!

Ok ya that's very true but Cyan is understandably like 😬 so let's try this again, here's another dollar.

-Alright, you didn't want Cyneswith leftovers..

-How about Sandy the Zombie leftovers??

I hope I don't have to explain to you why that's SO MUCH WORSE

-And I hope I don't have to explain to you that you get what you pay for when you give a dollar for a date!

Fucking touche, Marg, get out of here.

And now for another sequence of events so absolutely ridic I'm just gonna describe it with no dialogue:

So I send Cyan inside to check the college directory thing and see what available bachelors we might booty call up, but there's no one that I like for her so I send her back out to ask Margaret for another dollar date-

-once outside, we find BRITANNICUS SERENADING BARTHOLOMEW, to which Cyan has no reaction as she's probably too shocked-

-poor dumbass loved up Jimmy has no clue and is inside getting high-

-Cyan asks Marg for another date as Barth is performing the Second Cousin Vagina Monologues-

-Margaret gives us Neon Vest Zomb AGAIN and I'm like wtf-

-at which point Britannicus, who just one moment ago was serenading Barth, WOLF WHISTLES AT CYAN-

-CAUSING BARTH TO FEEL CHEATED ON AND DUMP HER

-BETRAYED BY MY OWN BLOOD TWICE IN ONE DAY! OH, THE SHAME!

BARTH SHUT UP. BRITANNICUS WHAT. THE. HELL

-I told you! >:D

Ok you know what, at least with this I feel we have peaked and there is simply no way the situation in this house can get more insane and degenerate-

-Think again!

NO FUCKING WAY. NO. SPICE WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU'RE DATING ELDERLY GOOD WITCH, I SPECIFICALLY FOUND YOU A GF TO KEEP YOU OUT OF THIS BS

-I know but there's something almost genetically inherited drawing me to Cyan! -Yes, It's almost like our parents were into each other but there was some invisible force separating them!

YA THAT WAS THE LAWS OF NATURE

-Oh please, it was the extended family mod and we no longer have to function under its oppression!

NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE IS REMOTELY FUNCTIONING. You know what, enjoy this while it lasts because I'm breaking every single one of you mofos up, istg I feel like I'm fighting the Hydra, I chop one semi-incestuous head off and two others pop up. WELL I'LL WIN LIKE HERACLES

I'd like to end this disgusting update with this image of the rose Ty left for Sunset next to the flaming shitbag Neon Vest Zombie left for Cyan. What is this world coming to that men no longer appreciate you cheating on them with 2 of your cousins during a date?? Chivalry is dead!